


Nein Votes

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [63]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 22:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18061235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Nott is determined to prove that everyone wants Caleb to be the leader. She puts it to a vote.





	Nein Votes

“Okay,” Nott said, passing around the slips of paper. “We’re going to settle this once and for all to prove that everyone thinks that Caleb is the leader.”

Caleb frowned and crossed his arms. “Nott,” he started.

“I’m not saying that you need to become the leader even though you’re clearly the most qualified. This is just to prove a point. Everyone write down Caleb’s name or, you know, who ever else you think might be the best leader. Then I’ll read them out so that we can keep this all anonymous.”

Beau sighed and rolled her eyes but took the slip of paper. “This is stupid. We don’t need a leader.”

“We’re not picking a leader,” Nott said again. “We’re just deciding on who would be best for the job. There, everyone has their paper. Go!”

Everyone started writing with various degrees of enthusiasm. Jester was furiously writing a novel, Caleb stared at the paper for a few seconds before sighing and jotting something down, and Caduceus was meticulously shaping each letter of a short word. When they were finished, they all folded their papers and slid them over to Nott.

“Here,” Beau said. “I’m annoyed at myself for participating, but here.”

Nott took all the papers and put them in the empty mug she’d just finished off. She shook it and then started fishing around inside it. She cleared her throat theatrically and pulled out the first piece of paper. “Oooh, it’s mine. One vote for Caleb.” She grinned and sat it aside. She pulled out another one and read it aloud, frowning. “One for Jester.”

Jester gasped and then clapped excitedly. “Oh, I would be such a good leader, you guys, I really, really would. Could I have voted for myself? I didn’t, but could I have?”

“No,” Nott said, pulling out a third one. “This one says ‘Bo’, spelled B-O.”

Caduceus smiled calmly. “Is that not how it’s spelled?”

Beau raised an eyebrow and leaned back in her chair to look at him around Jester’s body. “You voted for me?”

“Of course. You’re clearly the only one with a calm head on your shoulders.”

Nott shook her head. “Alright, alright. No clear winner yet. I’m sure this next one will be a vote for Caleb.” She pulled out a fourth one. “This one says  _ ‘I think that Fjord would be the very best leader ever, he’s so kind and strong and he’s good at decisions. _ ’”

Everyone turned to look at Jester who shrugged. “Whaaaaat? You don’t know that it was me.”

“There is a dick drawn in the corner of this paper.”

Jester giggled. “Okay, okay, okay, it was me.”

Nott sighed. “No winner yet. Next is…. One for Yasha.” Yasha looked surprised but didn’t speak. “One for… Caduceus. Okay, you guys clearly misunderstood this assignment. This next one will decide who the leader should be, you fuckers.” She reached in and pulled out the last one. “This one is for-” she cut herself off and her eyes widened. “... me. Is that really one vote for each of us? What the fuck? Did you fuckers conspire to do this?”

Beau snorted in amusement. “We didn’t even know you were going to do this weird ass shit. If I had known, I would have stayed in my room. Can we just get drunk, please? We don’t need a leader.”

Nott sighed and hopped off the table to retake her seat next to Caleb. “Fine. You’re wrong, you’re all wrong, but fine.”

Caleb reached up to pat her shoulder. “It’s fine, Nott. Beau’s right, we don’t need a leader and even if we did I would not be the right choice.”

“But you’re so smart.”

“There are…” he paused thoughtfully. “Different kinds of intelligence. Being book smart does not necessarily lend itself to leadership.”

Nott frowned but nodded. “Alright. Let’s drink then.”

Beau clapped once and then started waving down a waitress. “Finally.”

Jester started looking intently into everyone's eyes. “Who voted for me? Who voted for me, you guys?”

“Jester, it’s supposed to be anonymous,” Fjord said.

Jester gasped. “It was you! You voted for me, Fjord, that’s so sweet.”

Fjord cleared his throat and blushed. “A-Actually, I voted for Yasha.”

Beau wiggled her fingers. “I voted for you, Jester.” She turned on Fjord against and frowned. “You voted for Yasha? She leaves all the time. Don’t get me wrong, Yash, you do you, but disappearing everytime it rains isn’t exactly the best thing for a leader to do.”

Yasha nodded. “She’s right. That’s why I voted for Caduceus. He’s the most stable.” Their voices started to rise and they all started arguing over the table. Caleb sighed and put his head in his hand in exasperation as Nott joined the yelling.


End file.
